Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
