you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.