alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."