I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"