only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos