I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes