Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.