just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
