there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
