The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
