I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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