It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
