Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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