the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
