i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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