My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
