Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
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I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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