that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
