i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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