Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
