You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
