Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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