i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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