What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
