She is in my trunk
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
