HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
