Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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