yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
