just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
