yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
