i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
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I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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