Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
