The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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