I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
