After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
