are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
