Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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