her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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