found the other keg... it's in the tree
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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