I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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