the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
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Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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