the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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