Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
