The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
