Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
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you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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