I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
