how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
And then he peed in my hair
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