Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
