If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
