these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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