I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
