Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I need to stop coming to work sober
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
