he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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