Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize