wanna go halves on a baby?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize