do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize