i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
