She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
