i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I stole a fireplace last night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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