you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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