Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
