Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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