If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
