It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
