dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize